How to Talk With Your Adult Child About Trying a New Program
Starting something new can be exciting – and scary. If you’re thinking about enrolling your adult child in a new program, one of the most important steps happens before any paperwork or tours. It’s the conversation. How you introduce the idea, how you listen, and how you involve your adult child in the process can make a big difference in how they feel about it.
This guide is for parents and caregivers who want to have that conversation in a way that’s honest, respectful, and supportive.
Start With What They Already Know
Before introducing something new, acknowledge where your adult child is right now. If they’re currently in a program, ask how they feel about it. If they’re at home and not in any program, talk about what their days look like and what they enjoy.
Starting from their current experience shows that you care about their perspective. It also gives you a natural opening to talk about what might be different or better in a new setting.
Try questions like:
- “What’s your favorite thing about what you do during the week?”
- “Is there anything you wish you could do more of?”
- “If you could try something new, what would it be?”
Be Honest About Why You’re Looking
Adults with disabilities deserve honesty, just like anyone else. If you’re looking at a new program because you think it would be a better fit, say that. If it’s because their current situation isn’t working, be straightforward about that too – in a kind way.
Avoid sugarcoating or being vague. Something like “I found a place that does some really cool activities, and I think you might enjoy it” is better than making it sound like a mystery or a decision that’s already been made.
If you’re not sure where to start with your own research, our information for families can help you understand what to look for.
Give Them a Say in the Process
Whenever possible, involve your adult child in every step – from learning about the program to visiting it. Their input matters, and including them in the process helps them feel like this is something they’re choosing, not something being done to them.
Here are some ways to include them:
- Show them the program’s website together and talk about the activities you see
- Let them come up with questions they want to ask during a visit
- Bring them to a tour or a sample day so they can experience it firsthand
- After a visit, ask them what they thought – and really listen
At Lennon’s House, families can see what a typical day looks like before making any commitments. It’s a chance for your adult child to see the space, meet some people, and get a feel for whether it’s a place they’d want to spend time.
Prepare for Mixed Reactions
Some adults will be excited about something new. Others will be anxious, resistant, or unsure. Both reactions are completely normal.
If your adult child seems nervous, don’t push. Acknowledge their feelings. “It makes sense that you’d feel nervous about trying something new. A lot of people feel that way.” Let them know that they don’t have to love the idea right away, and that you’ll figure it out together.
If they’re resistant, try to understand why. Is it fear of the unknown? Attachment to their current routine? A past bad experience? Understanding the root of the hesitation helps you address it more effectively.
Focus on What They’ll Gain, Not What They’ll Lose
When talking about a new program, frame it in terms of what’s in it for them. New friends. Fun activities. Getting out into the community. Learning something they’ve always wanted to try.
Avoid focusing on what’s wrong with their current situation, especially if they’re attached to it. Even if the current setup isn’t ideal, your adult child may have routines, friendships, or comforts there that they don’t want to lose. Acknowledge that while showing them what the new program offers.
You can explore the kinds of activities Lennon’s House offers to get a sense of what might appeal to your adult child.
Keep the Conversation Going
This isn’t a one-time talk. Check in regularly as you go through the process – before the tour, after the tour, during the first few days, and beyond. Ask how they’re feeling. Share your own feelings too. Let them know it’s okay to take time to adjust, and that you’re in this together.
And if the first program you look at isn’t the right fit, that’s okay. The goal is to find a place where your adult child feels welcome, respected, and excited to participate. Check our FAQ if you have questions about how programs typically handle new participants.
Ready to start exploring? Get in touch with Lennon’s House to learn more about our programs and schedule a visit with your adult child.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my adult child says they don’t want to try anything new?
That’s okay. Give them time and space. You might revisit the conversation later, or try showing them photos or videos from the program. Sometimes a low-pressure visit – just to see the space, not to commit – helps ease the anxiety.
How long should I give them to adjust to a new program?
Every person is different, but most transition experts suggest giving it at least a few weeks before making any judgments. Stay in close contact with staff during that time and check in with your adult child regularly.
Should I visit the program before bringing my adult child?
It depends on what works for your family. Some parents prefer to visit first to make sure it’s worth exploring. Others bring their adult child along from the start so they can experience it together. Both approaches are valid.
What if my adult child can’t participate in a traditional conversation about this?
Communication looks different for every person. Use whatever works – pictures, social stories, short visits, or just paying close attention to their reactions during a tour. Their comfort and body language tell you a lot, even without words.